Plan It Lovely! The Planner & Couple Relationship

Most days I truly love what I do 99.9%. If you are in the wedding industry you know exactly what I mean. As with any job there are some “OMG WTF” days. I always reference the movie with Jennifer Lopez and Matthew McConaughey you know the movie that makes our job look so incredibly relaxed and glamorous. It  really isn’t not even for the celebrity planners. However, what I can tell you is, when the right client lines up with the right planner/designer, it is pretty freakin’ amazing! As event professionals, we are inspired by YOU and it’s true; we really do want to hear about all of your wedding day plans and ideas! Weddings are constantly on our minds, even when we are trying for it not to be {my best ideas come to me in the shower!}. We love to hear the excitement in your voice about the ideas you came up with. When you are open to our ideas, which you may have not considered before, we appreciate your trust. Your trust is what fires us up and ignites our creativity. When you are upfront with us by providing helpful feedback, it helps us nail the down the design and ultimately the coordination and execution of your wedding day. It also allows us to help you make decisions on every choice, every idea, and every suggestion an educated one.

I decided to start the “Plan It Lovely” wedding planning series because I know not everyone can afford a wedding planner and that’s OK. You still deserve to have a lovely wedding and with some insider tips you will! Yup, you’ve read advice on different websites before, but you have not heard it in my voice…which I hope is helpful. Every blog or magazine starts the planning talk with the wedding budget {no worries I’ll be talking about that soon!} but I decided to write about the relationship between you and your planner.  I’m not only going share tips on how to have a great relationship with your planner; I’m also going to suggest to planners on how they can bring out the best in you!  Stay tuned for more posts on wedding planning from me and other pros that will help you… Plan It Lovely!

For brides and grooms…

1. Ask questions. Not the questions that will easily be answered through your interviewing process. Here’s a few to give you some ideas of what to ask:

  • Given our needs and must haves for our wedding do you think it is in your level of experience?
  • Are our ideas is feasible and if not can you give us alternative ideas if we hire you?
  • Do you collaborate and accept input from your couples on the event design elements?
  • Can I see an entire wedding that you’ve planned and designed?
  • What do you think would be our biggest challenge given our wedding plans?
  • Can you provide us with your most recent references?

2. Have an idea of the type of wedding you want. After hiring your planner it’s a great idea to share your ideas with them. The more you tell us, the more we can create what you envision for you big day.

3. Don’t be afraid to say “No” to suggestions or ideas that do not resonate with you. Again your feedback is crucial.

4. Be respectful and polite, that goes both ways. I do not know of one planner that would not go the extra mile in order for their clients to have the very best experience. However, I do know planners that do only what they are contracted to do because they are professionals, but will skip right over that extra mile because a client was rude, condescending, or disrespectful. Again this rule goes both ways. There’s a saying, “You get more bees with honey…”

5. Respect your planner’s time and respect her boundaries. You are not her only client and thinking she can pick up the phone the minute you call, is unrealistic. We set hours so that we can not only attend to our couple’s needs but the necessary things that also come with running a business.

6. Trust that she is working on your wedding even when you don’t know it. Micromanaging is like pouring water on our creative fire. Trust us enough to know that we are committed to making your wedding day dreams come true. After all you hired us!

For my fellow planners…

1. Listen more, talk less. There is so much to be gathered when you let your client do most of the talking. A lot can be heard and gathered when we are selectively silent.

2 Remember this is not your wedding, so be sure to collaborate with your couple on the details and any wedding related decisions or changes you may think they will like. Again this is not your wedding, you are there interpret their vision, then style, coordinate, and execute it.

3. Don’t take anything personal! That’s a hard one because we are artists and as artists we are sensitive but just remember the rule above…it ain’t your day!

4. Be honest. For example, if their budget is too low for their wedding vision, be honest and forthcoming. If you are meeting with someone and their vision for their wedding doesn’t match the kind of weddings you want to create and produce be honest, and forward them on to someone that would be a better fit and that will get the job done.

5. Be patient. Indecisiveness brought on by the need to make big decisions comes with the territory. Reassure your clients that you understand.

6. Communicate even on the slightest changes pertaining to your clients wedding.

Of course there are many other tips besides the one’s listed above however; if you can remember these tips you’ll have a great planning experience with your planner/designer! Do you have a tip to add to the list? If so, share it with you commnet. I’d love to know! XO

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